5 ways to let go of a grudge
-
They say that harboring a grudge is akin to having the life sucked out of you. There may be more truth to the statement than you think.
While most of us know that bitter resentment can affect our mental health, recent studies have found that it can also harm our physical well-being. Like other emotions, bitterness has dire repercussions: high blood pressure, elevated heart rate, and an increased risk of heart disease.
According to Dr Charles Raison.., the associate professor of psychiatry at Emory University School of Medicine: “The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous. The data is just as established as smoking, and the size of the effect is the same.”
Research from McGill University in Montreal also found that there was an association between a feeling of hopelessness and the thickening of the carotid artery, the main blood vessel to the brain. The thickening of the carotid artery increases the incidence of stroke.
Negative emotions like stress, anger and depression can lead to physical problem such as high blood pressure, elevated heart rate and increased risk of heart disease. Prolonged feelings of these negative emotions can take a serious toll on your health in the long term.
It’s near impossible to maintain a constantly outlook of life. After all, we all suffer from more bad days than good. In fact, many psychologists believe that expressing negative emotions are healthy. The trick is to not let it become a chronic problem.
Here are 5 ways to resolve your negative emotions:
1. Vent to a friend about what’s bothering you
"Give yourself time to vent and get it out of your system," suggests Dr. Maryann Troiani, co-author of the book Spontaneous Optismism.
It’s important to express those bitter feelings so that you don’t end up nurturing them. The ear of a close friend is extremely helpful as a sympathetic and non-judgemental outlet for your anger.
2. Watch the news
Sometimes, we let our problems overwhelm us so much so that we forget how lucky we are. We need to be reminded how small our problems are when we compare them to others who are worse off than us.
"I ask people to watch the news for a day, or read the paper, or go to work and talk to people, and they'll see that others have suffered and this is just a part of life," says Luskin, author of the book "Forgive for Good."
3. Consider confronting the person who hurt you
Depending on the situation, it may work out or it may backfire. Confronting your boss about his silly decisions may end up giving you more trouble than it’s worth.
Instead, write a letter to the person you are angry at. Let out all your rage on that piece of paper, then throw it away and move on from there.
4. Realise that you are only harming yourself
Holding a grudge is a conscious choice that people make. You can consciously stop the process by constantly reminding yourself that you are only causing yourself physical harm.
"I tell my patients, take care of this bitterness now, or in five years it will haunt you in the form of chronic headaches, fatigue, arthritis, and backaches," Troiani says.
5. Try to see things from the other person’s point of view
People may treat you in a manner that you think is unfair. Instead of flaring up, consider that their actions could be because they’re going through a hard time themselves.
Occasionally, the path to forgiveness is empathizing with your offender's situation.