lets have some joke ^^
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1) A husband said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune?
She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!
2) Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.3) Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken.
Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
4) Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."5) A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother"
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1)Teacher: “Where were u born?”
Student: “Singapore, Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me, Sir.”A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Johnny.
“None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then Little Johnny says, “I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
“The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on… but I like your thinking.”
3)MARTINI
A lady walks into a bar and says, “Barkeep, gimme a martooni.” The bartender goes back and fixes her a martini. She downs it and says, “Barkeep, gimme another martooni.”
So he goes back and fixes her another martini. She downs that, and just sits there and doesn’t say anything. Finally after about 10 minutes bartender says, “Would you like another?”
She says, “Oh, no, I got this terrible heartburn.”
The bartender says, “Okay, there are three things wrong here:
Number 1: It’s martini, not martooni.
Number 2: It’s bartender, not barkeep, and
Number 3: You’re not having heartburn, your boob’s in the ash tray.”
4) RUN AWAY
“Do you mind telling me why you ran away from the operating room?” the hospital administrator asked the patient.
Because the nurse said, “Don’t be afraid!
An appendectomy is quite simple.”” So….”
” So?” exclaimed the man..”She was talking that to the doctor!!!!”
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1. Which city got no people?
Answer: Electricity
2. Once, a fire started in somewhere.
The fireman asked the person on the phone: "where did the fire occured?"
The person said:' My house!"
The fireman said: "I mean the location!"
The person said: "The kitchen!"
The fireman said: "I mean, HOW sholud we go there?"
The person said angrliy: "i Thought u got fire engine?"
3. Who runs faster than YOG people?
People who need to go toilet - Ugent to pee or poo.
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- Three men, namely Shut up, Manners and Trouble.
Shut Up went to the police and Manners went to the toilet.
Police: whats your name?
Shut up: SHUT UP!
Police: Wheres yr manners?
Shut up: In the toilet.
Police: are u looking for trouble?
Shut Up: YES!
2. Toilet mistakes: How to pee??
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- There's a pretty lady walking down the road and was sent to hospital after a driver of a car had crashed her.
The lady was awake in the hospital and said to the driver "Why must you drive so carelessly? You almost made me dead!"The driver replied, "I didn't saw you on the streets because you're dark, I can't see you."The lady replied back. "HEY! MY SKIN's WHITE! SEE!The driver replied again, "It's still dark!"Reason why is it dark for the driver : The driver is wearing a dark spectacles, which makes him sees the background darklish too.