1.After marry for one year.
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
2.Director : Our accountant is not honest.
Sales Director : Don't judge him by his appearance.
Director : No I am judjing him by his disappearance.
3. Ah Lian and Ah Beng finished dinner and decided to go back home. Ah Lian chose to take the bus and seeing her bus there at the opposite bus stop, she quickly dashed across the street.
Ah Beng shouted at her that he could send her home with his car. When he realised Ah Lian couldn't hear, he tried using hand signals (imagine acting out 'i drive you home').
Ah Lian understood the signals and replied pointing to her breasts and then her head. Then she boarded the bus and left. Ah Beng was both puzzled and angry and he called Ah Lian and asked what the heck was she doing?
She said, " Aiyaa, I told u neh-mind (nevermind)."
4.What a loan
B4 leaving for Europe, a businessman drives his Rolls to a downtown Manhattan Bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. When asked for collateral, he handed over the keys and registratrion of his Rolls. The Bank Officer had it driven into the Bank's covered car park for safe keeping and immediately gavie him the $5000.
A couple of weeks later, the man walked into the Bank and asked to settle his loan and his car back. "That will be $5000 for the Principal and $15.70 in interest," said the Bank Officer. The man signed a check for the total amount and began to walk away. "Excuse me, sir" the bank officer said, "while you were away, I found out that your're a billionaire. Why did u have to borrow the $5000 in the first place?'.
The owner of the Rolls smiled and said. "Where else in Manhattan could I park my Rolls for 2 weeks for $15.70?".
5.Mad Cow Disease
Reporter interview farmer why there is mad cow disease.
Farmer : If you every day play with the nipple of the cow and after that did not make love with them. You think will they get mad.
read most of them before tho