Chuck Norris Facts

• Ahahahaha!

  25 Mar 09, 20:09

  1. Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.

  2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

  3. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

  4. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

  5. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

  6. Chuck Norris email adress is [email protected].

  7. Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

  8. Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.

  9. Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.

  10. People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.

  11. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

  12. Chuck Norris has been on Mars, that's why there is no life there.

  13. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

  14. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

  15. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

  16. Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. now they are pregnant.

  17. The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
      It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

  18. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

  19. Chuck Norris makes onions CRY!!!

  20. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  21. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

  22. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

  23. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  24. When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't lift himself up. He pushes the world down.
  25. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
  26. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
  27. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  28. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  29. They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
  30. In a certain future, Chuck Norris, Barack Obama and Megan Fox found themselves in heaven. Sitting right in front of them is god, on the most magnificent solid gold chair set with jewels of all colours. Upon seeing them, god asked: "What have you done in your life time to deserve a place in this beatiful heaven?"

   

  Obama said: "I am the president of the United States, the most powerful country in the world!" And promptly recieved a seat on the left of god.

  Fox said: "Let's face it, I am sexier than the rest the the human world combined." And got herself a seat right of god.

  Pissed, Chuck Norris said: "Just get the fucking hell out of my chair so i can sit down already!".

   

• eeden.

  25 Mar 09, 20:12

  

• jayh272416

  25 Mar 09, 22:27

  

• Q.C.Pak

  25 Mar 09, 22:31

  

• Babelfish

  25 Mar 09, 22:32

  WTF!!!

• gigabyte14

  25 Mar 09, 22:32

  lol

• Babelfish

  25 Mar 09, 22:36

  TS is Chuck Norris lar!!

  'people thinks TS sucks, because he is Chuck Norris'

• eagle

  26 Mar 09, 08:39

  LOL

• Scania N113CRB l0v3r

  26 Mar 09, 16:38

  i read half le nice one this facts

• lianamaster

  27 Mar 09, 14:41