Ancient Chinese Torture
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A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," says the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly",' the Chinese man says, "but on one condition." "If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man'".
"OK," the man replies, and enters the house.
Over dinner, the daughter comes down the stairs. She is young and beautiful, with a fantastic body. She is obviously attracted to the young man and can't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering
the old man's warning, he ignores her and goes up to bed alone.
During the night he can bear it no longer and sneaks into her room for a night of passion. He is careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he creeps back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He wakes to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he sees a large rock on his chest with a note on it that reads: "Chinese Torture 1....Large rock on chest.". "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thinks.
'If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picks the boulder up, walks over to the window and throws the boulder out. As he does,he notices another note on it that reads:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glances down and sees the rope, getting very close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones is better than castration, he jumps out of the
window after the boulder. Plummeting towards the ground, he sees a large sign on the ground that reads, "Chinese Torture 3....Right testicle tied to bed post." -
err... posted before twice
http://sgforums.com/forums/2223/topics/331932
http://sgforums.com/forums/2223/topics/265091
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err.... repost is ok lah... who keep track of jokes here?
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me keep track lor
I have read nearly 70 over pages in this forum before
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I did too... but i don't keep track of them.
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Originally posted by Lost_Drift:
Ar... your avatar.... Kakashi's Sharingan..
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Originally posted by eagle:
me keep track lor
I have read nearly 70 over pages in this forum before
means u seriously should get a lifethere is a whole wide world outside of this forum...
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Originally posted by MaNyZeR:
Ar... your avatar.... Kakashi's Sharingan..
Been thinking this while.. how u exclude the white background of your avatar?
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Originally posted by Lost_Drift:
Been thinking this while.. how u exclude the white background of your avatar?
photoshop. remove the white background with magic ward tool or whatever.
save as gif. format or png. format.
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Originally posted by xalkyrie:
photoshop. remove the white background with magic ward tool or whatever.
save as gif. format or png. format.
Thanks for info.
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pb
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Originally posted by n0x:
means u seriously should get a lifethere is a whole wide world outside of this forum...
It means I have good memory
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Originally posted by eagle:
It means I have good memory
and u waste it in this forum remembering old jokes and their particular threads???then what's the point of having a good memory???
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Originally posted by n0x:
and u waste it in this forum remembering old jokes and their particular threads???then what's the point of having a good memory???
never waste
it just stuck there
I use the jokes to entertain others during gatherings :D
The best so far was the Hairy Egg joke
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Originally posted by eagle:
never waste
it just stuck there
I use the jokes to entertain others during gatherings :D
The best so far was the Hairy Egg joke
wow u are such a charming guy...
i envy u...
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Originally posted by n0x:
wow u are such a charming guy...
i envy u...
i support sarcasm. keep it up!
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:lol
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Originally posted by lookslikegod:
i support sarcasm. keep it up!
Exactly
just like what was said of you here
http://www.sgforums.com/forums/2223/topics/350972?page=2
no no... this is part of his joke.
in this forum, everything is like a joke.
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Originally posted by lookslikegod:
i support sarcasm. keep it up!
no...i really meant it from the bottom of my heart...
he has real friends outside of this forum...
and through this forum he has learnt jokes which he can use to make even more new friends...
unlike me who is stuck to this forum bcos i cannot get a real social life outside...
cos i am not charming and cannot memorize the jokes in this forum
very sad....
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actually it's useful to memorise some nice jokes
Not only can it be used in social situations, it can also be used while giving talks, lectures, presentations or even during tuition. Or if you are good, even during interviews.