A holy young priest on his way to a rural town in Ireland chanced upon a man having his way with a sheep. He shuddered, uttered a few prayers and moved on.
A few miles down the road he saw another man out in the fields
frenziedly bonking a sheep. Appalled at having witnessed a
second case of bestiality in less than an hour, he whispered
several prayers, crosses himself fervently, and drove on.
Finally, on the outskirts of town, he caught sight of a man
leaning against a tree and masturbating enthusiastically. The
young priest, then and there decided grimly on the topic of his
first sermon.
"As I approached this fair town," he began that Sunday, "I
witnessed three abominations. First, on the roadside a man
committing an unnatural act with a sheep. Shortly thereafter
was another man in a field committing the same unnatural act
with another sheep! And third, at the very outskirts of this
town, a man was committing an unnatural act with himself!"
A voice spoke up from somewhere in the congregation, "Aye,
that'll be old Paddy Fitzpatrick. He never could catch a sheep!"