Growing old
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the
elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the
reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia .
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license. -
dont get the last one..
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don get the 1st and the last ):
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i only get the 2nd one...
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last one is very readers' digest. i mean, only people who read that stuff can and will appreciate...
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I suppose with the last one, you're supposed to
after reading the last line coz of all the mentioned illness at the previous lines.. -
i guess the last one just simply means,
despite all these illnesses, that old person still can drive. but in actual fact he/she is not fit to be driving on the roads with all these illness.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
simply means all the friends probaly died in a car crash. that should explain all the surgeries at the start of the joke.
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i think the last one simply means :
he's not old at all.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia .
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.all those things happend to him because he had gotten into a lot of car accidents. maybe he likes to drive really fast or sth. he also lost all his friends coz he made all his friends died in the car accidents.
idk if it's correct or not. just my opinion. heh
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Can't understand the first one ...