Guide to the Male Vocabulary
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Statement: "Haven't I seen you before?" True Meaning: "Nice butt."
Statement: "I'm a romantic." True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "I need you." True Meaning: "My hand is tired."
Statement: "I am different from all the other guys." True Meaning: "I am not circumcised."
Statement: "I want a commitment." True Meaning: "I'm sick of pleasing myself."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about." True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "It's just orange juice, try it." True Meaning: "Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."
Statement: "She's kinda cute." True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her." True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "I miss you so much." True Meaning: "I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good."
Statement: "Was it good for you?" True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?" True Meaning: "Is my penis really that small?"
Statement: "Do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?" True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you." True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I'll give you a call." True Meaning: "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot." True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends." True Meaning: "You're ugly."
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okay..
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