Some Tottenham Hotspur Jokes
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A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. 'What about your parents?' asks the social worker. 'No, they beat me,' says the boy. 'What about your grandparents?' says the social worker. 'No, they beat me even harder!' says the boy. 'Well ... where do you want to stay then?' replies the social worker. 'Tottenham,' says the boy. 'They don't beat anyone.
What do the Premier League and a cowboy have in common? They both have spurs at their feet.
What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times.
What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: 'We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.'
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Haha nice!
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Juande Ramos was caught speeding while on the way home from the last EPL match.
When questioned, he seemed eager to get 3 points. -
Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive.
In it he said 'Tottenham Hotspur has recently been rubbish'.
Britsh intelligence immediately dissmissed it, saying: ''That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years''... -
Originally posted by fudgester:
Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive.
In it he said 'Tottenham Hotspur has recently been rubbish'.
Britsh intelligence immediately dissmissed it, saying: ''That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years''...hahahahahaha!
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Whats the difference between Derby and Spurs?
Ones been relegated already and the other is on the way down. -
What's the difference between Tottenham and a Triangle?
Well, at least a triangle has got 3 points -
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this is so lol
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hahaha. .
they will soon the the worst epl team ,worst than derby -
. Knn.
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Were there any Spur fans in Sgf at all or have they all left?
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A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.
"Well," replies the man, "the Arsenal ground is very close but they're playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you'll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.
You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop.
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A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, "Liverpool 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.
Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again."
The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?"
"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies.
The landlord then asked what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him three years."
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I was playing scrabble today when I realised I had the letters to spell Tottenham Hotspur but was pissed off when i realied it was only worth 2 points!
The groundskeeper at spurs was seen planting potatoes behid the goals and when asked why... he said " so we got something to lift at the end of the season" -
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Originally posted by thoreldan:
wow.... tink david levy cant take it anymore... -
Hired Fabio Capello. Ask them to compensate England FA.
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Originally posted by CannyOng:
Hired Fabio Capello. Ask them to compensate England FA.
no use... they should jz bring back glenn hoddle or venables... -
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Guess who made these comments five months ago
Which manager pledged never to walk out on their club?
“Any unfulfilled dreams I have left in football can be achieved here. I turned down two exceptional offers in the last 12 months and that was a clear indication of where my heart and mind was.
“It wouldn’t make an ounce of difference who came in for me now. This is where I belong and this is where I want to finish.
“It would have been easy to walk away in the past year and I don’t think anyone would have had any real complaints. But, as tempting as the offers were, I couldn’t have lived with myself. There would have been a massive sense of betrayal.”
The answer is below the jump:
That would of course be new Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp pledging his future to Portsmouth. It’s also less than a month since Redknapp, the last manager (besides Ramos of course) to lose a league match at White Hart Lane, called for action against the Spurs fans who abused Sol Campbell.
since tis is spurs joke thread, added tis here..