False report
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A storeowner sees a guy sneaking a shaver into his pocket and calls him over
Owner: May I see your pockets? I saw you stealing a shaver.
Accused:I have it.
Owner: May I see your IC?
Accused:Its not mine. I stole it.
ownerr: This IC is stolen?
Accused: Yup.I stole it off at ICA.I have a gun too in my pocket
owner: There's a gun in your pocket?
Accused Yes Sir theres where i put it after i shot and killed the person that i stole the IC from
owner:u killed the person?
Accused:Yes, its in my hotel room.
Hearing this, the owner calls the police, who questions the accused
Captain: Who's IC is this?
accused:Its mine officer, Here's the date and name.
Captain: Could you slowly unzip your pocket so I can see if there's a gun and a shaver in it?
Accused.Okay but There's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in his pocket
Captain: Would you mind leading us to the hotel where you stashed the body?
Accused:No problem .The Room is searched and sure enough,, there is no body
Captain: I don't understand it. The Owner who stopped you said you told him you stole A IC, had a gun in your pocket and there was a dead body in your hotel room.
Accused.Yeah. I bet that lying twat told you i was stealing, too.
The owner is arrested for lodging a false report. -
kinda cold leh
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wind can talk
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Originally posted by gigabyte14:
wind can talk
i composed this joke myself. took at least half hour . but it is lame la.
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Originally posted by 93'guy:
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too
similar leh -
Originally posted by gigabyte14:
wind can talk
watched the windtalker?
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wah lau steal story from the lying traffic police joke
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Originally posted by Beaten_And_Damned:
i composed this joke myself. took at least half hour . but it is lame la.
i think it is really amazing that 2 different ppl can post similar old jokes at nearly the same time in the same forum...at least the 93 guy didn't claim to have made up the joke himself...
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you just changed the words around to the traffic police joke?
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Originally posted by Pitot:
watched the windtalker?
ya
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