Preach To A Bear

GIB

7 Aug 08, 19:03

A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a rabbi all served
as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan
University in Marquette. They would get together two or
three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to
people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would
be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and
they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out
into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their
experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on
crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs,
went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to
find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing
to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother
of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is
coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair,
had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed,
"WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went
out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to
my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to d o with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another
and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly
DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like
you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the
rest of the day praising Jesus."

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the
rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a
body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running
in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it,
circumcision may not have been the best way to start."