* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
* You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
* The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
Things kids says:
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby
sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two?
Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember anymore. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you just look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."
BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried
in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his
dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom
asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen
with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but
his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked:
"What happened to the flea?"
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew.Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
i miss my grandma...