You might have read them before somewhere....but hope you will find it refreshing to read them again.....cheers!!
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder
lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears !
The ghost says," Normally, one is granted three wishes
but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So
the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first
wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and
have no worries.
Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager
could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and
corktails."Pfufffff, and he was also gone. The boss
calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the
office after lunch at 12.35pm"
Lesson I : "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Standing in front of a paper shredding machine with a
piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important document, and my secretary has left. Can you
make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the
machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start
button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need
one copy."
Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane
on the way to LA when the American turned to the
Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't
understand what you mean." The American repeated, What
kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was
confused over the question. The American, now
irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ..
Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!,
etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a
Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and
asked: What kind of 'kee' was he. The American,
frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-kee' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
American and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what
you want the pool of water to become, then your wish
will come true." The French wanted to start.
He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the
pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and
shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of
vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is
the American.
He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps
on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes accidents do happen.
