You VS The Boss

• carpe diem jur

  26 Dec 05, 05:04

  When you take a long time, you're slow.
  When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
  
  When you don't do it, you're lazy.
  When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
  
  When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
  When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
  
  When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
  When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
  
  When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
  When your boss does it, he's being firm.
  
  When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
  When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
  
  When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
  When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
  
  When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
  When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
  
  When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
  When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
  
  When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
  When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
  
• carpe diem jur

  26 Dec 05, 05:10

  some corporate truths to add on...
  
  1 If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  
  2 If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
  
  3 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  
  4 For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  
  5 Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
  
  6 Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  
  7 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  
  8 The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  
  9 Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  
  10 If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  
• laurence82

  26 Dec 05, 14:25

  Originally posted by carpe diem jur:

  some corporate truths to add on...
  
  1 If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  
  2 If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
  
  3 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  
  4 For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  
  5 Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
  
  6 Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  
  7 To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  
  8 The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  
  9 Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  
  10 If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  

  Heehee, uni research also like that