**Important - George Costanza's Rules for Working -_-"
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Rule No. 1 - Never walk without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading
for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're
heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like
they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of
stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you
work longer hours than you do.
Rule No. 2 - Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat, and generally have a blast
without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the
societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like
to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss
-- and you will get caught -- your best defence is to claim you're teaching
yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
Rule No. 3 - Keep a messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks
like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around
your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's
work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody
is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an
existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Rule No. 4 - Use voice mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just
because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because
they want you to do work for them. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice-mail message for you
and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know
they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even
though you're being a devious weasel.
Rule No. 5 - Look impatient & annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses
the impression that you are always busy.
Rule No. 6 - Leave the office late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You
could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have
no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on
your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35 p.m., 7:05
a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.
Rule No. 7 - Use sighing for effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that
you are under extreme pressure.
Rule No. 8 - Opt for the stacking strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books
on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
Rule No. 9 - Build your vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember;
they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
Rule No. 10 - Don't get caught.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don't forward this to your boss by mistake!
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ehh how come no one reads this....
UPZ !! -
i purposely read but dun reply..
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tried before the methods above anot??Originally posted by stellazio:i purposely read but dun reply.. -
Originally posted by carpe diem jur:Rule No. 1 - Never walk without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading
for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're
heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like
they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of
stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you
work longer hours than you do.
How? Me go to work empty-handed de....hmm, look lik mus invest $$ go buy a briefcase/bag liao...den brim to work, even insight got newspaper!
Rule No. 2 - Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat, and generally have a blast
without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the
societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like
to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss
-- and you will get caught -- your best defence is to claim you're teaching
yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
I never had time for tis, too busy le during office hr..mayb aft office hr...surf abit 2 clear yahoo n hotmail...
Rule No. 3 - Keep a messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks
like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around
your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's
work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody
is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an
existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
My table is always messy e moment I sit down in my desk, but at e end of e day, me make it neat neat, habit liao...lik dat can???
Rule No. 4 - Use voice mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just
because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because
they want you to do work for them. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice-mail message for you
and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know
they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even
though you're being a devious weasel.
Hmm...me sutmime onli return voicemail e nxt day, too busy liao....
Rule No. 5 - Look impatient & annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses
the impression that you are always busy.
Me no need 2 gif....me always busy de... :
Rule No. 6 - Leave the office late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You
could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have
no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on
your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35 p.m., 7:05
a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.
Hmm...lik dat can claim OT easily n get approved eaiser..cos Boss noe I work late!
But sumtime I lazy to claim lah...mus do a lot of paperwork to get it done...hai....
Rule No. 7 - Use sighing for effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that
you are under extreme pressure.
Beri act act leh...me not those kind of person....
Rule No. 8 - Opt for the stacking strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books
on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
Hmm...kinda of messy, I dun like....
Rule No. 9 - Build your vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember;
they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
Ok...tink it sound gd...can gif it a try...
Rule No. 10 - Don't get caught.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don't forward this to your boss by mistake!