Dad: My teen is too young
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Sat, Jul 04, 2009The New Paper
Dad: My teen is too youngby Desmond NgIT WAS bad enough for this father to find out that his 14-year-old girl had been having sex regularly.
But things got worse.
Even after making a police report and repeatedly warning his daughter's boyfriend, the sexual trysts continued right under his nose.
It all started when the father, David, found out that his daughter had sex with a 17-year-old polytechnic student last November.
The young couple have been together for over a year.
He hit the roof when he found out about it in January.
To protect the identity of the daughter, we are not giving the real names of those involved.
When David, who is in his 40s, first wanted to report the boyfriend to the police, he decided against it to give the boy one more chance.
In the eyes of the law, girls aged between 12 and 14 are considered victims of statutory rape. Cases involving girls below the age of 12 are investigated as rape.
The boy could have been jailed up to 10 years or fined if he had been convicted.
There have been several such cases in the last few months.
David said that he immediately called the couple for a talk when he found out about their trysts.
He said: 'I sat both of them down and told the boy that my daughter is still young and can't make decisions (about sexual relationships).
'I also told him that he's still studying, has no job and can't take care of my daughter. I said I will give him a second chance by not going to the police.'
Jealousy
David said that the boy apologised and promised not to see his daughter anymore. David even informed the boy's parents and told them to control their son.
He said that he would never have found out their secret if not for the jealousy of her boyfriend.
The boyfriend had called David this January and warned him that his daughter was also seeing someone else and that 'they could be doing it'.
David got worried and told him that he'll be sending his daughter for a medical checkup.
He said: 'I also warned him that if I did that, I might also be able to find out if my daughter had sex with him. That was when he confessed and said that he had sex with my daughter last November.'
After that warning, David sent his daughter (now in Secondary 3) to school every day, while his wife took time off daily from work to fetch her home in the afternoon.
David said he tried talking to his daughter but she was non-communicative and didn't want to talk about her relationship with the boyfriend.
Their precautions came to naught.
Their daughter continued to keep in contact with her boyfriend secretly, and even skipped lessons to meet him.
David found out that she had sex again with the boyfriend in January after reading an SMS on her handphone that she had sent to the boyfriend.
Her message said that she was guilty about having sex again and wondered if she could be pregnant. Furious, David made a police report against the boy that month.
He said: 'We're under tremendous stress having to make a living and to guard her. We are very concerned that our daughter might end up pregnant or even get Aids.'
Then something else happened. In February this year, his daughter jumped down from the second floor of their condo and fractured both her arms.
Said David: 'We had locked the main door to prevent her from leaving the house but we didn't know she'd jump out of her bedroom window.
'And even with her fractured arms, she still managed to go to her boyfriend's place.'
The daughter spent two weeks in hospital for her fractured arms and also received psychological help.
The boy, however, was let off with a police warning in March.
Helpless
But even after that police warning, the couple continued to have sex, which infuriated David even more.
He found out from his daughter's blog that the couple had sex again in May this year.
He said: 'I had already warned the guy and reported him to the police. He was let off with a warning but now, he's still having sex with my daughter.
'As a parent, I am really helpless. What can I do? I can't imprison my daughter.'
He said that while his daughter has shown signs of improvement and even wrote an apology letter to her mother, it is still too early to conclude that the problem is over.
David said that he has since made another police report in May. The police said that investigations are ongoing and it's inappropriate to comment at this time.
Former deputy public prosecutor Tan Hee Joek said that generally, the factors that could've been considered on whether to charge the accused would be the age of the accused and the relationship between the accused and the victim.
Mr Tan, now in private practice at Tan See Swan & Co, explained: 'The age of the accused is very important. It would tell you roughly if the victim was taken advantage of by someone older who preys on younger girls.
'But if both of them are teenagers and they do have a close boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, then that would be taken into consideration.'
In such cases, it's not unusual that the accused is let off with a stern warning first, he said.
Said Mr Tan: 'If it happens again, then the authorities might take more serious action against the offender. You can't keep on giving warnings. For the first time, the accused may claim that he didn't know it's serious.
'But after being warned, he can't rely on that as mitigation, especially when he has ignored the warning blatantly.'This article was first published in The New Paper
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shake my head
Seems the lifestyle of many teenagers here.
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the picture looks like both nerds
so cool
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sure they not posing for reporter to take pic???
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Are they paid to do that? part time job?
Times are bad
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That's why young girls should not go after man... tsk.
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
That's why young girls should not go after man... tsk.
? ? ? -
Originally posted by Fantagf:
? ? ?
Older man always teach small girls bad things.Like sex....
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
Older man always teach small girls bad things.Like sex....
Out of the topic. the thread is about students teens having sex with each other.these days people start to have sex life early. ha ah ha ha
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
Out of the topic. the thread is about students teens having sex with each other.these days people start to have sex life early. ha ah ha ha
Only noobs have sex with noobs... -
Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
Only noobs have sex with noobs...
Curiosity kills the cat -
Originally posted by Fantagf:
sure they not posing for reporter to take pic???
Thought the report said "17-year-old polytechnic student"... didn't know poly student got uniform de. =X
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
That's why young girls should not go after man... tsk.
So you...... careful ah? And must be good girl hor... don't like that naughty xmm hor... XP
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'And even with her fractured arms, she still managed to go to her boyfriend's place.'
Wa seh... this one ah... really wonder how much more she can tahan....
This girl confirm high tolerance liao... which can help high stamina.... (if needed).
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this is called "blinded by love".
tsk tsk.
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Haiz....
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Originally posted by AEW5001:
this is called "blinded by love".
tsk tsk.
I think its high sex drive... -
disgustin loh.
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How come the boy never send to boys home? The father make a police report and court never cage him up?
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Makes them both look so cheap.
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The boy is 17 and the girl is 14, age diff of only 3 yrs.
1) Their is a couple relationship, boy/girl relationship, not an older man out to seduce naive young girl.2) The boy is underage for the court to cage him up. The police investigator has to take these factors into consideration before they can proceed with any charge or no charge.
3) If you read the report, the girl is wild and spoilt. Come from well-to-do or upper income family. Parent caged her at home, she can also climbed and jumped out of her 2nd storey condo to look for the boy.
I do not condone the action of the boy. Like the father said, what if he got her pregnant or passed her disease?
Maybe the problem is really in the girl. Maybe the father should not go to the press to shame the boy. Maybe the solution is for the father to acknowledge that the source of problem is in his family. And maybe, if all things fail, send the girl to girls' home? -
haiz his daughter maybe addicted by the man penis or sex.
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I agree this appears to be more of a couple issue rather than older man with young girl. But the law is thus and they guy isn't underaged. even as a minor still can charge de.
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Who knows.
It maybe the daughter who rape the guy
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Originally posted by Q.C.Pak:
Only noobs have sex with noobs...QFT