Religion getting in the way of r/s ?
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Hi rainee, I have been following this thread but have yet to share with you yet. My first point to you is: don't become a Christian for the sake of your BF. Be a Christian only if you are convinced that there is a God and that accepting Jesus as your personal saviour will provide you with salvation.Originally posted by rainee:Thanks for your opinion
I was wondering about that as well, I asked one of my Christian friends about this and she said it is good that I am considering Christianity as my religion after I have learned about it through my bf. Before this, even though my parents are strong Buddhists, I am not really someone who is really into religion. But after getting to know him and hearing about his faith in God, I decided to try to learn more about the religion.
I mean, isn't this a good thing in itself? If I have not been in this r/s with such a strong believer in Christianity, would I even be tempted to learn more about it?
The sentiments about whether one should marry a non-Christian or not stems mainly from 2 Cor 6:14. To most traditional (and possibly rather rigid) Christians, it is a popular verse to quote to justify the stance of not marrying Christians. For starters, nothing in the entire chapter of 2 Cor 6 talks about marriage specifically. It talks about relationship between people. I have even heard some speakers in church saying that Christians should not have non-Christian business partner, base on this verse. Taking the context of the books of Corinthians, Paul was specifically addressing the immoral conditions of the city of Corinth at that time, hence, one need to consider why the letters were written.
We need to understand that in this era, it is impossible NOT to have any dealings with non-Christians. While business dealings are easier managed, marriage is not. One pastor (that I respect immensely) shared this to his congregation: marrying a non-Christian is not a sin punishable by death, it is just that there is a huge amount of issues to be resolved subsequently. When a couple is not of the same mind in faith, issues like upbringing of children, what to do on Sabbath, life style etc will all become major flashpoints in their life. I fully agree that it does not mean that the grace of God is not in the couple if the couple is not of the same mind in faith. I have seen too many couples coming totally in Christ even up to 30 years after their marriage.
One last point.... ask your bf to leave CHC! There are many many good churches who are sympathic to your current situation. If you or your bf wish to discuss on CHC, drop me a PM.... Alternatively, the EH Christians are more than happy to give you our take on CHC. -
Seriously, i dont care if rainee becomes a christian. its not my problem.Originally posted by laoda99:U read without even understanding. In the first place, the prayers was not even directed at u or for u. It was for Rainee and her bf and I did it out of a sincere heart. Why are u so angry with me?
Praying for god to help them yes, and pray rainee will be a christian also yes.
Will u be happy also for Rainee if GOD help them solve their problems/rainee become a christian?
Dun get me wrong, I can only pray that rainee will become a christian, she must herself be prepared to accept the word herself.
This is a Christian forum, and all I am doing is to encourage the both of them as I have the same problems b4. By bringing GOD into my relationship, It really made a difference for me and all I am doing is sharing with them my experiences.
So, why are u worked up? Are u angry that Rainee would become a christian?
and the way i see it, you are offering the suggestion that rainee becomes a christian to solve the issue.
just say so in the first place....and for me personally, you are no different from the cell group leader. -
Seriously chin eng, u starting to disappoint me.Originally posted by Chin Eng:I echo your sentiments, laoda.....
I guess by and large, most of the Christians here are familiar with those who are either philosophically against Christianity or are against the individuals who are Christians. While most of the more "seasoned" EH contributors are avoiding a protracted, thus pointless, discussion with the anti-Christians, we will be more than happy to discuss and when possible nudge seekers the way we see to be right. After all, as laoda, and myself (in the past) had maintained, this is a CHRISTIAN forum. No different from those who reside in Light of Atlantis or the Buddhist threat who may advice their seekers to go those ways, and as I have said before, it would be totally wrong to preach there. This is EH, you either come in to share, to seek or to argue. I'd ignore those who wants nothing more than to pick a fight.
To anyone who does not believe in God (or the Christian God), the prayers would not offend 'cos to these people God does not exist, thus the prayers will NOT work.
To believers, it is well within our agenda to try to nudge non-believers to our faith.
While, as most forumites may know, that I am totally against the forcing-down-your-throat brand of Christianity, I will be more than happy to provide some comfort and answers, and if such answers will lead an individual to Christ I will unabashly do it.
If I am addressing the needs of a specific individual and this individual feels that these needs are met, I would not consider the opinions of those who are not involved. They are totally unimportant.
but its allright, fundamentally, its never a christian way to be humble, to have non believers in their heart etc, despite many speeches that say so
its always 'our' way, 'our beliefs, that to acknowledge the presence and views of others...
*shrug* -
Dup
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I do not want to get into any more discussions about faith or God. Experience has shown me that people will choose to believe whatever they want to believe and no amount of rationalisation or explanations will change anything.Originally posted by Icemoon:Your argument is not right what.
Somehow you made the heart (our feelings) more important than the word of God.
You believe what you want.
I believe what I want.
Like I said, I will stick to my usual sarcastic crap posts from now on.
Really.
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Hi all and all,
I think disputes between each other that are not directed towards rainee are best settled "offline" or by PMs. -
Originally posted by laurence82:Seriously chin eng, u starting to disappoint me.
but its allright, fundamentally, its never a christian way to be humble, to have non believers in their heart etc, despite many speeches that say so
its always 'our' way, 'our beliefs, that to acknowledge the presence and views of others...
*shrug*
actually I don't which part of what I'd said that make me appear less than humble. When I stated "OUR WAYS, OUR BELIEFS" it merely my personal opinion that my ways/opinion remain my own. Likewise you'd take offence at Christian who states that Christianity is THE ONLY WAY.
So it seems that when I say "my way" - WRONG!
When if I say "Christianity is THE ONLY WAY" also wrong!
May I ask then, how should Christians voice our opinions if either way offend you.
the difference is: we are NOT suggesting that they break up. We can offer a suggestion that rainee's bf NOT be a Christian... which will still solve their current problem, but seeing that HE is not the one writing, we can't do that.Originally posted by laurence82:and the way i see it, you are offering the suggestion that rainee becomes a christian to solve the issue.
just say so in the first place....and for me personally, you are no different from the cell group leader.
Had this problem be in another forum, the Christian dimension would not exist, and any offer of solution would have taken a broader spectrum. However since rainee had seen it within her needs to address her concerns via EH, the respondents opinions are naturally skewed towards the Christian aspect.
Look larry, I don't want to pick a fight with you but you need to see that the issues were posted here, whatever solutions that Christians CAN offer are naturally from the experiences that Christians had gone through. You are of course free to add your two-cents worth if it is going to help her. Bear in mind the purpose is TO HELP HER. I really don't know where I'd sounded arrogant, but it was not intended. -
I would love to see forumers offer her strategies to help her decide, ask her what she want to be, where she wants to go in her relationship, what things would lead to where....rather than solutions, yes she should be a christian, no she shouldnt be a christian kind of things
There has been many topics about this last year, and some of the older forumers in Aunt Agony gave peeps realli good advices, i am sure MC square would have noe, and one christian, gasband, made some of these questions to ask abt their relationships
From the tone here, and what laoda just did, i guess the answer is yes, to become christian?
It would be easier to be straightforward than muck abt different perspectives. -
Originally posted by laurence82:I would love to see forumers offer her strategies to help her decide, ask her what she want to be, where she wants to go in her relationship, what things would lead to where....rather than solutions, yes she should be a christian, no she shouldnt be a christian kind of things
There has been many topics about this last year, and some of the older forumers in Aunt Agony gave peeps realli good advices, i am sure MC square would have noe, and one christian, gasband, made some of these questions to ask abt their relationships
From the tone here, and what laoda just did, i guess the answer is yes, to become christian?
It would be easier to be straightforward than muck abt different perspectives.
You are not wrong in what you'd just written. I guess most of that can be implied in her first note. SHE WANTS TO CONTINUE WITH THE RELATIONSHIP. That is directive and indicative enough. The fact that the church concern has issues is also a perspective that needed correction - NOT ALL CHURCHES ARE OF THIS OPINION. Her willingness to convert is also very indicative.
As you'd said, Aunt Agony offers other perspective too. I'd written some there and I'd NEVER asked anyone to convert. Please be reminded that I'd stated that she SHOULD NEVER convert for the BF's sake.
There is an obvious difference in opinion on how problems shall be solved. I agree that everything has to be revealed and considered, however in this case, most relevant and salient points (in my opinion) were already revealed so offering a suggested-next-step is quite natural even though you may disagree with that step. I need to add that becoming a Christian does not always solve relationship problems. It only fulfils the spiritual void (if any) of an individual. Becoming a Christian for the sake of a relationship will only bring more problems in the future. My wife and I are married for close to 14 yrs and both of us teach in Sunday School and we do have our disagreements big and small. One thing we never do is to use our belief as leverage to win an argument. -
Chin Eng is Sibeh Eng this morning.
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Originally posted by M©+square:Chin Eng is Sibeh Eng this morning.
ivory tower a bit boring today..... -
Chin Eng is ZHL?
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I know E=mc2Originally posted by laurence82:Chin Eng is ZHL?
but ZHL = ? -
You have every right to have ur own opinion on this, as much as I have.Originally posted by laurence82:Seriously, i dont care if rainee becomes a christian. its not my problem.
and the way i see it, you are offering the suggestion that rainee becomes a christian to solve the issue.
just say so in the first place....and for me personally, you are no different from the cell group leader.
The best counseller for her is actually her bf. Ultimately, Rainee will decide for herself, not us to decide for her.
Since u already decided I am wrong, I see no need to discuss this issue with u any further. -
Ivory tower = zheng hu aka gabrament aka gahment.....Originally posted by M©+square:I know E=mc2
but ZHL = ?
but we are deviating from the topic.... -
Orh k.Originally posted by laurence82:Ivory tower = zheng hu aka gabrament aka gahment.....
but we are deviating from the topic....
:in a crappy mood today:
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i would have tot that was the tone that should be set from the beginning of the topic....Originally posted by laoda99:You have every right to have ur own opinion on this, as much as I have.
The best counseller for her is actually her bf. Ultimately, Rainee will decide for herself, not us to decide for her.
Since u already decided I am wrong, I see no need to discuss this issue with u any further. -
Originally posted by laoda99:
let my replies speak for itself
I fully understand ur problems. I was a non-believer too when I started dating with my gf who is a christian. We have lots of quarrels becoz I always think she want to force me to convert to christianity. Luckily for us, she does not have any friends to ask her to leave me. Eventually, we managed to sort out our problems.
My gf always wanted me to believe for myself and not becoz I want to be with her. Believe in Christ is building a relationship between urself and GOD....definitely not something that can be forced on u. I come from a buddhist/taoist family and my mum is a staunch believer in chinese traditions. When I quarrelled with my family and gf, I thought everything going to end. I was sandwiched until i can bearly breathe. [b]But take faith, everything bad will pass....just have more faith in urself and ur bf, and everything GOD will make well for u.
You have to talk things out with ur bf. I can see u love him very much and dun want to lose him. Assure him of your love, tell him for the good of both of u u will be receptive in going to church and listen to his word. You said:"I am a non Christian now, but that does not mean I will remain that way forever. "
I can see u are a receptive person, just have more faith in GOD, and eventually build up ur own relationship with GOD, and GOD will do the rest for u definitely. -
When one posts in a forum. He or she should answers in many forms, useful and not so useful ones. Laoda posted his opinions. It is up to rainee to agree or not to agree.
Should rainee post in Aunt Agony, I'm sure most will cater their answers in the context of Aunt Agony with little or none of the religion perspective.
If anyone has advice from the non-religious point of view, you may do so. But please refrain from criticising other's advice. In my opinion, it does not help in anyway. -
Nope.Originally posted by sillyme:When one posts in a forum. He or she should answers in many forms, useful and not so useful ones. Laoda posted his opinions. It is up to rainee to agree or not to agree.
Should rainee post in Aunt Agony, I'm sure most will cater their answers in the context of Aunt Agony with little or none of the religion perspective.
If anyone has advice from the non-religious point of view, you may do so. But please refrain from criticising other's advice. In my opinion, it does not help in anyway.
People dont progress without conflicts or Devil's advocate.
By conflicts i dont mean the need for verbal abuses or fist fights.
I rather put it as critique, and if you guys cant take it personally, too bad..... -
I am sure you can add to your point such as:
"With regards to laoda99's posts, becoming a Christian is not the only way. You can also..."
It will be better to add your own view then rainee can see the options. -
Nope.Originally posted by sillyme:I am sure you can add to your point such as:
"With regards to laoda99's posts, becoming a Christian is not the only way. You can also..."
It will be better to add your own view then rainee can see the options.
Read my posts again. I asked laoda to clarify his position. Its not about adding options to the pool of advices. -
simi ZHL????Originally posted by laurence82:Chin Eng is ZHL?
err ok. just read that its garment.... nope....
someone made that comment to me recently in another forum that I came down from ivory tower..... -
No matter what. You're really Chin Eng and sibeh eng today la.Originally posted by Chin Eng:simi ZHL????
err ok. just read that its garment.... nope....
someone made that comment to me recently in another forum that I came down from ivory tower..... -
*faintz*Originally posted by M©+square:No matter what. You're really Chin Eng and sibeh eng today la.